THIS IS NOT A DATE: EPISODE II (FACEBOOK > TINDER)
"I can't take it anymore. I have to say hi".
Anymore? So Mr. Stranger has been watching for a while and finally decided to send me a message? Who are you?
I don't know if people are open to meeting and socializing with people especially on social media but I have no issue with that. They say you will meet people where you spend the most time. Work and social media is that place for me. But work is littered with women and since I don't play for the other team, I have resigned myself to the other place I spend the rest of my days: Netflix and my social media apps.
Yup. In my head, I have intimate relationships with the male antagonists in the my favorite binge-worthy series. I like Frank Underwood's slickness and Southern charm. Apart from his sheer evil nature, I could envision myself being his wife, after I murder Claire Underwood.
Okay, a little too fictional but you get the picture. The only place I may meet someone is on the internet and I am not shy about admitting that. I have no qualms about it so when I saw this message, I replied.
People on Facebook may be annoying at times (I really don't care about your "click Amen" posts nor am I liking or sharing) but in my inbox, people are usually respectful. Once in a while, I get a friend request from what I perceive as sex-starved Middle Eastern men who get on the web and lose their minds (the sheer inappropriate messages that come with the request is good enough for a block and delete).
So Micheal (not the real name of character) and I get talking. It is very refreshing to meet someone who is not interested in small talk. I am terrible at small talk. I want to talk about why politicians refuse to fact check their statements before making them. I would also like to have guessing games. Example: Would King Solomon have married 300 women and had 700 side chicks if he lived in this century and how you feel about polyamory/polygamy. Is psychology a sham? What about astrology? If religion did not exist, do you think humans would have a moral compass? Do you believe in the moon landing and the Apollo? Are you a member of the #feminismiscancer movement? And other relevant questions to the conversation (it is super weird to do this in public but people reveal themselves when you start asking these questions.)
Interesting is the word that fits Michael's personality. Super vain, gym rat, eats any and everything, light sleeper, a creature or habit and routine. Even over the phone and apps, I had his schedule down in a matter of about 2 weeks. I looked forward to his 11:28pm calls. Always on time. Exactly, 11:28pm. What I have failed to tell you is that Micheal Power lived 5000 miles away. In another country. On another continent. In another realm and climate. Our inbox relationship has escalated into a "Will you be my girl" question in about 2 weeks. Of course my answer was NO.
Because, I don't know you Sir. Yes, I enjoy your conversations and calls but I had no concept of what Micheal looked like and yes, I must see you. See, Facebook as a dating app (that's what it's for right?) gives you a lot of features Tinder does not offer. I have not been on Tinder but from what I hear, it involves a force of nature better described as swiping. On Facebook however, one can see what people have in common. Mutual friends, likes, pages, activities and what not. If you do your stalking properly, (which I highly recommend. What?) you will have plenty of conversation starters and warnings.
For the most part, Micheal and I were opposites. He loved to work out, I don't. He is very vain, I'm not. I love Jesus, he doesn't. We lived on two opposite sides of the world and we argued often because of these differences. Arguments, I enjoyed. I liked everything this man was offering. It seemed like a challenge. From a stranger, to my inbox, to a friend I spoke to everyday. Who are you Sir? And why am I intrigued by you? He was like light rain falling on a land that needed no water. Yet it welcomed the rain because in it's wake was the promise of a beautiful earthy scent.
I basked in the attention and the fact that I was allowing myself to feel again. I felt as though I was mending yet I wondered why it took a member of the specie that caused this undoing to mend it. Is that how we are to live? To be broken by one person and be mended by another? Why aren't we capable of doing our restoration by ourselves?
About 3 months into our untitled friendship, we had a big fight. One for the books.
***NEW EPISODE EVERY TUESDAY***